From 4 to May 5

During the night, my Heavenly Mother, so very beautiful, presented herself repeatedly before me, near the head of my bed, soothing my pain.

On the same night, my Guardian Angel with his little wings leant over me trying to relieve the pain in my body.

May 6

O darkness, O darkness, O dark and scary darkness! O Heaven, Heaven, give me your light!

I received such great stabs in my heart that I felt it remained open and so disfigured that it seemed no longer to have the form of a human heart; it is however a fountain of blood, flowing abundantly. It is the divine life that brings it forth and I feel all humankind drinking from it with most anxiously, for fear that it be exhausted.

My state of soul was aggravated after learning how much they hurt my dear Father, however I did not lose my confidence that Jesus will justify his innocence.

Now I feel that the nocturnal birds are arriving at the knees. My whole body is almost in ashes. And will our Lord not come and find me?

May 7

With the distress of my soul I spoke like this:

How sad and very embittered are the last days of my life! Take, my Jesus, from my bitterness all the sweetness and joy for Yourself, and for the benefit of souls.

May 8

Being no longer able to support the weight of humiliation, with the agony and black darkness that I felt in my soul, because everything has muffled the confidence I have in Jesus, I said:

If those that took my dear Father away from me experienced what is to suffer, they would return him for my comfort.

And for Jesus I whispered: I swear that I trust in You!

And remembering that I no longer had the crucifixion, I felt such pain in my heart that it seemed to cry tears of blood and I was reminded that if I was crucified again it would be enough to alleviate the suffering of my soul!

What a privation, my Jesus, what a privation, not now to have the crucifixion!

Now the birds are below the knees and I feel my heart losing the divine life. I’m falling slowly. Everything disappears in me.

I also feel that humanity no longer drinks with that eagerness that it drank before, because the blood is running out.

The devil has afflicted my imagination, wishing to force me to be united to the things of the earth, but the more he tries to do it, the more our Lord brings me to Himself.

May 12

Today, the divine life of my heart, I compare it to a dampened lamp that every moment seems to be going out. Only from a remote spot springs a drop of blood, which can barely be drunk. Today I spoke to our Lord thus:

My Jesus, Heavenly Mother, see the barrenness of my soul, see the abandonment it feels from both Heaven and earth! Caste towards me your divine eyes of compassion! Help me, help me, do not let me die of fright in the midst of darkness! My soul is intimidated by the assaults of the devil. He wants to accuse me and throw into my face all that is worst, presenting my whole life to me as one full of mistakes.

Jesus does not leave me fighting the doubts for long, but the devil, angry, fills me with dread. If I could have a priest always near me! It is my dear Father that I want, because it was this that Jesus promised and that men took from me.

The birds, I feel them already on my feet, but I feel that they are annoyed because are not finding anything to eat.  They stir about and search in the few ashes that remain of me. Alas, the happiest day of my life is the day of my death!

May 14 - Ascension Day

I would like to say how much my soul has suffered, but I only have the experience; I have no way of explaining it. Horrendous suffering began for me! I never thought I would be able to suffer so much. Today I feel myself a little more relieved, my trust in Jesus and in the Heavenly Mother redoubled, with more strength to fight hell which has pitched itself against me.

My heart continues like the dampened lamp. From far away it seeps some little drops of blood and humanity still comes to profit from them. Each of them seems to be the last. I feel that it is still connected to the divine life by a little thread, a thin thread that the least thing could break.

In my body I no longer feel the birds, it seems to me that not even a least bit of ash remains.

I feel that the One who sustains the life of my heart is Jesus, only Jesus; it seems me that my heart is linked to the heavenly Homeland by that little thread.

Jesus is my King! Viva Maria! Long live the Holy Trinity whom I love so much!

May 24

Jesus stopped my crucifixion: I feel that He stopped my life. Only He can understand my sadness and longing. I do not have the suffering of the cross, I do not feel myself on it, it is completely hidden from me, but I have a still greater cross, my sufferings are greater.

I cannot live in the world. Time does not pass, the hours seem to me centuries, the days and nights eternities. How many times I lift my eyes to Heaven to cry:

Jesus, O my dear, longed-for Jesus! Heavenly Mother, O my dear and longed-for heavenly Mother! Most Holy Trinity, O my dear and longed-for Trinity, for whom alone I want to live, to whom alone I deliver myself, whom alone I want to love!

Poor me! I say that I love and I have no heart to love with, I don’t have body, except for the pain, I am like a ball of foam that quickly disappears. What darkness, my Jesus, what dryness, what bitterness, what agonies those of my soul!

The little thread of divine life that was connected to my heart, despite feeling that I don’t have it, is still connected. I feel each moment that it is breaking. The fury of the horrendous storm stretches it. From the little place that my poor heart occupied, a few drops of blood issue, but it is a long way away. Now I feel how much poor humanity needs it: the whole of mankind wants to suck it up thirstily.

O my Jesus, do not abandon the poor one who has always trusted and still trusts in you. Despite feeling that all is lost amid the darkness, it is in You that I place all hope.

The devil broke all the chains that bound him. He has fallen on me. I fight alone. I fight his anger.

O my Jesus, it seems to me that every moment I offend You! Oh my dear Jesus, O my dear heavenly Mother, they took away my Dear Father in those sad days when I most needed him!

I feel myself abandoned by everybody, unless You give comfort for my soul miraculously — and that so seldom happens! Forgive all those who injure me, forgive so much blindness, they are forgiven by me.

Don’t pierce my heart with more swords, I have suffered on all sides, I have received suffering from those from whom I didn’t expect it. O my Jesus, thank you for all your forgiveness, your love and your compassion! Purify, sanctify, put your anguished little daughter in your divine love and carry with You without waiting. 

From May 24, the day of the divine Holy Spirit, in which I asked for all the light and all the fire of His divine love, His sanctifying love, the state of my soul has changed, but on that day, in the afternoon, I still said: I no longer have the life of this earth, I only have body of pain.

Since this day, I stopped to feel what I felt almost continuously, those disgusting serpents full of filth, which entered through the mouth and were going out, pulled out I do not know by whom, and I remembered the condemned ones of hell tormented by demons. I could not hear the twitter of birds at dawn and dusk, although I remembered that they were praising their Creator. Their chirp hurt my soul very much. I could hear nothing joyful. My thirst was burning, the angst of feeding myself, I do not know how to explain it this seemed to lead me to desperation because of the impossibility of satiating my desires. Once I said to Jesus: It is for You that I suffer, and satiate Your thirst for love, the thirst You have for souls.

On the 25^th people noticed a difference in me: there was no other difference except a transformation in my soul. I stopped feeling the great bitterness, dark, dryness and agony, I was no longer far and away and passing, but felt a great desire to fly to Heaven: I felt that I was rising, as if I had wings and was taking flight to Heaven, having full confidence in Jesus and my Heavenly Mother and always in accord with Their wishes. In the midst of all this, my soul felt itself at a feast, so that sometimes I was singing with joy and jubilation:

"To see God, to see forever,

Always God, this is Heaven!

May I go there", and so on.

It seemed me that I was going to my heavenly homeland, to my Jesus, walking, with open arms, to rest in His divine lap.

Since I cannot satiate myself with the wishes and longings that I have of the earthly table, I sigh, I die and I look forward to satiate myself with those of delicacies of heaven, and those alone are worth eternity.

The thread that connects to the place where my heart lives is about to break, I think that it was severed. It has only been waiting for the distant storm to give a few little tugs. Now yes, now I can say:

Heaven is near, I go to see my Jesus, I go to see my dear Heavenly Mother, I go to enjoy Paradise, I go to love my eternal Loves forever. I leave the world without nostalgia. I don’t belong to it.

"My head is very clear! On May 27, when I attend to the month of my heavenly Mother, I had this feeling that left me in peace: I died in May, peace comes in June. My dear spiritual Father will be released and will come to watch my death. I will die on Saturday evening, my funeral on Monday evening, the first day of Jesus. “

We do not know the source of this addition.

Probably Alexandrina lived her second mystic death during this period. Fr Umberto.

May 31 - Feast of the most Holy Trinity

At the end of the day, I felt the divine thread to break altogether. In that state of soul I waited to see what Jesus in His divine wisdom had in store for me, unless everything was over with my death.

On the following Monday, 1^st June, at dawn, I felt that the little thread that was linked to my heart had failed completely but the wisdom of Jesus still had more to give. Shortly after I saw, and felt, rays of light brighter than the sun coming down from heaven to earth, into my heart: they seemed to come from the Heart of my Jesus, linking up and being reflected always in my heart. I had to soak myself completely in those rays of love. Day by day are continue to enter me, leaving me transformed in them. These rays are lifting me from earth to Heaven; they are a channel in which I have to turn and move along. It is through it that I'm going to Jesus.

I feel myself already arisen to a certain height from the earth. There are moments in which I cannot resist such a longing for Heaven. I hope to see my Jesus soon, along with my dear Heavenly Mother and the Trinity to whom I aspire. But I want all Jesus’ promises to be fulfilled; I want you to give me my Dear Father who they withdrew from me, without any reasons, during my most bitter times. It seems that only that and the determination of the consecration of the world by the Pope obliges me to remain on earth, a sad exile which I cannot support.