Alexandrina de Balasar

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Chapter 12

 THE EXAMINING COMMISSION

 

The verdict

The archbishop of Braga nominated a Commission to examine Alexandrina’s Case:  Canon Molho de Faria, president, and two other members.  

Molho de Faria had already visited Alexandrina and had been left with a good impression. On 2nd March 1943 he had written a letter to Fr Pinho which included the following: 

I very much admired, and was pleased with, the letters of your spiritual daughter.  I admired above all the spirit of simplicity and total confidence in God. There is such beauty and force in some matters of real theological difficulty that, knowing from where they come, we cannot help but see clearly the finger of God.  There are still expressions and images of such delicacy and depth in conveying certain desires and affections that we must admit in her the existence of the highest feelings (...)

I believe that one day full justice will be done (vide C G, Appendix I, 3: “Second report of the Fr Umberto”, pp. 788, ss).   

This Commission made a superficial study: it did not even interrogate the spiritual director! It did not read the writings of the person it was making the inquiry about. It accepted local gossip: some envious women, two of whom were penitents of the Commission’s president. When Alexandrina was asked if she knew why there was such hostility shown towards her she answered: 

— I have resolved not to say anything… of not excusing myself. 

The canon insisted: 

— But it is not the world that is interrogating you here, it is me. Please, know that everything is in my hands! 

— Rev. Father, my life is in the hands of God. I promised Our Lord not to excuse myself. Therefore I ask your Reverence not to insist. 

It was the only contact of the theologians had with the defendant! (C G, p. 154, in note)  

How is it possible not to recognize here the attitude of Jesus in front of Pilate? 

Such a reply surely annoyed the inquisitor and disposed him towards an adverse opinion.

On 16th January 1944 the Commission made its negative judgment

Jesus allowed this extra squeeze in the wine-press for that generous bunch of grapes that was his “biggest victim”, as he often affirmed. 

As for Canon Molho de Faria, we must record here that he later studied the Case and in the diocesan Process, on 22nd May 1968, he testified: 

I desire her beatification, if her virtues are proven to be heroic. (...) At this moment I think that the reputation which the Servant of God enjoys is the best possible reputation, and merited. I insist that she is worthy of the honours of the altar. I know all these things through personal knowledge and study. (Summ, pp. 157, 159)

Consequences   

On 25th June 1944 the Archbishop of Braga sent out a circular letter, of which we transcribe some points: 

a) Be silent on the alleged extraordinary facts attributed to the patient, or of which she affirms herself the protagonist (...) 

b) Recommend that priests do not encourage, but rather oppose curiosity in a charitable way (...) 

c) This recommendation is to be made to all our diocesan clergy (...) 

d) Let the parish priest of Balasar be informed that we put him in charge, in addition to overseeing the above, of watching so that the patient and her house are not importuned by troublesome visits made because of the alleged extraordinary phenomena, to which a religious character is attributed.

Such measures stimulate the gossip-fed defamation promoted by those people envious of what they see as well as, though much against Alexandrina’s will, the exceptional position assumed by her.

Alexandrina in a hurricane   

Jesus, I am frightened. (...) O, what a horror! Everything is storm. I hear the whistle of the winds, the echo of terrible thunder, threats of destruction. Everything has fled in terror. And I am alone (she has been without Fr Pinho since 1942  and still does not have the help of Fr Umberto Pasquale, who will start to direct her in September 1944), in the centre of the sea, without a ship, without a helm, without a light, ready to sink forever in the abyss.

Horror, horror! The storm tears the clouds, Heaven opens and turns itself against the earth. My God, my Jesus, what awaits me? 

I deliver myself into your most holy arms. (...) S (27-7-44)

Listen, Jesus, my pain is almost killing me! (...) Pain that only Jesus is able to understand! 

With eyes fixed on You, Jesus, the calumnies, the humiliations, the rejections, the hatred, the indifferences have the sweetness of your love. 

Let everything come, O Jesus, may everything that You will come. 

May my name die, as I feel that my body and my soul have died, so that Your divine love lives in hearts and your grace in souls! It is for this, my Beloved, that I let myself be immolated. (...) 

O, that I may at least live hidden! O, how I would like to love You as much as I desire, to be yours, my Jesus, in a way that I could not love you more.  

But forgive, O Jesus, forgive me: but life is not like this.  

O, how many there are who do not know anything about this (mystical) life, and they are saints! And me, my Jesus, full of miseries! O, what longing for the years which have already passed! So many colloquies I had with You, and nobody knew! I would give lives, my Jesus, I would give worlds to live hidden!

Forgive me, Jesus, I do not have the desire, I do not have the will. (...) 

My God, what a tremendous fight! Poor me without You! Jesus, heavenly Mother, save me! I am your victim. O holy little Therese, holy Gemma, O Saint Joseph and all the saints, my dear ones, save me! O Heaven, O Heaven, I rely on you!  

Do not allow me, my Jesus, ever to rest! Do not allow my lips ever to stop repeating: I love You, Jesus, I am your victim! 

May men give me the sentence that they want, it does not matter. You give me, O Jesus, the conqueror’s sentence and I am to love You and give souls to You! S (1-8-44) 

Here a slight nod to the requirements of nature surfaces, and is immediately rejected:  When I heard laughter around me, the laughter of someone who is enjoying huge delight I felt, against my will, a longing to share in that delight. 

My God, what a misunderstood life! (...)  

These thoughts passed with the speed of lightning. And I felt thankful that I am able to trade those joys for the love of Jesus. Jesus! Jesus is worthy of everything. Souls, Souls! 

This thought vibrated inside me. It lit firm desires to walking among thorns, bathed in blood, only in blood.  

It gave me a clear knowledge of what Jesus is and of what the world is. (...) Some hours passed. The night advanced, it was well advanced.   Everything in the house was at rest: only my pain, my tremendous fight continued.

Jesus did not leave her without his help, when it was necessary. 

Jesus came suddenly; He wrapped me in flames of love. (...)  Jesus, by my side, said to me:  

— Your pain, my daughter, your martyrdom pulls out of Satan’s claws the souls that he stole from Me in a great rage. (...)

Courage, the storm passes. Receive grace, receive love and the Holy Spirit’s light. (...) 

Shortly afterwards, in a sweet peace, I fell asleep. S (10-8-44)

Also there appeared a campaign against her in certain newspapers!  Fr Umberto Pasquale in the Diocesan Process wrote: 

She also suffered a good deal from articles that had been written about her in periodicals. (Summ, p. 291)

Thorns were directed at her from various directions:

Oh, how many thorns wound this heart that already exists only to suffer! 

It is from the depths of my soul that I ask for pardon of You for those who so cruelly wound me. I am wounded by those who have the least cause to wound me; but also I behave thus with You: my good Jesus, forgive me! S (22-1-45)   

At the end of April 1945, invoking the Sacred Heart, she said: 

Always be my strength and allow me to enter in your divine Heart with all those that are dear to me, so that you will reward them for me, giving to them all your graces and all your love.

Allow me to enter with all the priests, so that they learn from your divine Heart and be like You. 

Allow me to enter with all the sinners, so that they may be converted and not offend You any more.  

Allow me to enter with all those who have offended me, so that You may forgive them and also forgive me. 

Allow me to enter with the entire world, so that it may all be saved, and by entering your divine Heart it will no longer run into danger. S (27-4-45)  

In October of the same year, in a colloquy with Jesus, Alexandrina asked: 

Make my heart similar to yours. For your love I want to forgive all. For your love and for the love of souls I accept these thorns that so deeply wound my head during every hour of the day. S (24-10-45)

   

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