Chapter 2
SHE OFFERS HERSELF AS A VICTIM HEART
BEATING WITH FLAMES OF LOVE
In the pain and the solitude of that room, which became her lifetime jail, her love towards the Eucharistic Jesus continued to grow. Contemplating the tabernacle, she exclaimed:
My good Jesus, You are imprisoned, and me too. We are both imprisoned: You are imprisoned for my good and I am imprisoned in Your hands. You are the King and Lord of everything and me a worm of the earth. I have abandoned You, only thinking of this world and those things which are the cause of the perdition of souls. Now, with a heart full of regret, I want what You want and to suffer with resignation. Do not withdraw Your protection from me, good Jesus. (A, p. 17)
She began to feel a constant and stronger desire to think only of Jesus: she wanted to love him with a total, exclusive love, renouncing the use of the word “I”.
She ever felt an ever-growing desire to become more like her Jesus, of immolating herself like him, of becoming victim for redemption.
Without knowing the reason, I offered myself to Our Lord as a victim; and came, rapidly, to ask for the love of suffering (that is the acknowledged experience of victim souls). Our Lord granted me this grace in such a high degree that today I would not exchange pain for anything in this world. (…)
The consolation of Jesus and the salvation of souls were what worried me most. (A, pp. 17-18)
During this period, in her morning prayers, she said, among others things:
O my Jesus, I join myself in spirit, now and forever, to all the Holy Masses that are being celebrated night and day around the Earth. Jesus, immolate me with you each moment on the altar of sacrifice; offer me with you to the Eternal Father for the same intentions for which You offer yourself. (A, p. 19)
O my beloved Jesus, I join myself in spirit, now and forever, to all the holy Hosts of the Earth, in each place where you reside sacramentally. I want to pass all the moments of my life there, constantly, day and night, glad or sad, alone or in company, always consoling You, loving You, praising You and glorifying You.
O My Jesus, I want as many acts of my love, constantly falling over You, day and night, as there are small rain drops falling from the sky to the earth on a winter’s day.
I do not only want my heart, but all the hearts of all the creatures of the entire world! … Oh, how I want to love You and to see You loved by all! … Look, Jesus, at my yearnings, accept them now, as if I already loved You. Oh Jesus, remain in the world not only in the tabernacle, nor only in the one place which you inhabit sacramentally, not only today, but from today and forever, at each moment of my life, I will always be there saying: “Jesus, I love-You! Jesus, I am all Yours! I am Your victim, the victim of the Eucharist, little lamp of Your prisons of love, the sentry of Your tabernacles!
O Jesus, I want to be a victim for priests, the victim for sinners, the victim of Your love, for my family, for Your most Holy Passion, for the Sorrows of your Holy Mother, for Your Heart, for Your Holy Will, the victim of the entire world! … Victim of peace, victim of the consecration of the world to the Blessed Virgin!”
And, as always, she appeals to the beloved Holy Mother.
After having repeated her consecration to Her and to Jesus, she asked Our Lady to:
…close me forever in His divine Heart and tell Him that you will help Him to crucify me, so that there remains nothing in my body nor in my soul left to crucify (her prayer will be answered here to the letter) (...)
Transform me into love, consume me completely in the flames of the Jesus’ love. (A, p. 19)
This glowing fervour explodes in the following canticle of offering to the tabernacles:
Oh my Jesus, I want each pain that I feel, each palpitation of my heart, each breath that I take, each second of the hours that I pass, to be
An Act of love for Your Tabernacles.
I want each movement of my feet, of my hands, my lips, my tongue, each time that I open my eyes or close them, each tear, each smile, each joy, each sadness, each tribulation, each distraction, contrariety or trouble, to be
An Act of love for Your Tabernacles.
I want that each letter of the prayers that I recite or hear recited, all the words that I speak or hear spoken, that I read or hear read, that I write or see written, that I sing or hear sung, to be
Acts of love for Your Tabernacles.
I want that each little kiss that I give to Your holy images or to those of Your and my Holy Mother, and to Your saints, to be
Acts of love for Your Tabernacles.
O Jesus, I want each little drop of rain that falls from the sky to the earth, all the water contained in the world, offered drop by drop, all the sands of the sea and all that the sea contains, to be
Acts of love for Your Tabernacles.
O Jesus, I offer You the leaves of the trees, all the fruits that they may have, the little flowers offered petal by petal, all the little grains of seeds and cereals in the world, and everything contained in the gardens, fields, meadows and mountains, I offer everything as
Acts of love for Your Tabernacles.
O Jesus, I offer You the feathers of the small birds, their own warbling, the coats and the voices of all the animals, as
Acts of love for Your Tabernacles.
O Jesus, I offer You the day and the night, the heat and the cold, the wind, the snow, the moon, the moonlight, the sun, the sunset, the stars of the sky, my sleep, and my dreams, as
Acts of love for Your Tabernacles.
O Jesus, I offer You everything the world contains, all the greatnesses, wealth and treasures of the world, everything which happens to myself, everything I use to offer to You, everything I can imagine, as
Acts of love for Your Tabernacles.
O Jesus, accept the sky, the land, the sea, everything, everything they have, as if everything was mine and that I could make use of it all to offer to You as
Acts of love for Your Tabernacles. (A, p. 21)
Here are further flashes of love from the heart of Alexandrina:
O my Jesus, if I am distracted or I fall asleep and the sins of the world assault You, call me with dire affliction and pains so that I can rise in your defence, and not allow the sins of the world to approach your love’s prison. C (7-1-36)
I felt myself so alive in the tabernacles! My heart flew next to Jesus! It fluttered over the tabernacle and beat with little wings on the small door. C (29-4-39)
We never fail to receive help from our Holy Mother:
Holy Mother, come with me to the tabernacles, to all the tabernacles of the world, to wherever Jesus lives sacramentally. (...) Oh Holy Mother, I want to walk from tabernacle to tabernacle, asking Jesus for favours, like the little bee flying from flower to flower, to absorb all the nectar! (A, p. 20)
I passed the hours of the night watching, in continuous union with Jesus.
His prisons of love are my prisons, I am always consumed in anxieties of loving.
Everything is in silence, and I am with Him. S (14-11-44)
Alexandrina never forgot her brothers.
My head, my body, my clothes were dripping with perspiration (after a fight with the demon) and my heart was without life and was unable to resist the pain of sin. Then Jesus said:
Accept all these drops as acts of love for your tabernacles. And may each one of them be chains that capture souls, drag them from the Satan’s claws and bring them to Your divine Heart. S (17-1-47).
Ó Jesus, Jesus, my Love! (...) Jesus, burn me! Consume me; make me disappear in You! Make, Lord, make all souls approach the tabernacle and live in it, always and only in the tabernacle! S (11-9-53)
