SENTIMENTS OF THE SOUL 1944
smile at my cross, but, O my God, with how much agony of soul! I see
all the time of my life lost. It seems to me that I have not lived
for God or for souls, I have lived in the world as if not living.
What accounts will I give to my God? I long to get out of this
exile, but how shall I appear empty-handed before my Jesus? I feel I
have done nothing because of Him or for him. I am colder than ice.
After Holy Communion, I feel that I am so cold; despite having
received Him I see myself so far from Jesus that my soul cries with
sorrow and pain. I am like a corpse that feels nothing, because the
pain I feel is not mine, the tears I cry are not mine either. A
corpse does not love, or feel the love with which it is loved. O
death, O death, how tremendous you are! What sadness! Death of the
body and death of the soul.
crushed by everything: the weight of humiliation crushes me, the
weight of neglect and contempt crushes me, the distressing pain to
save the world, not to let it to commit even one sin, to make it
love Jesus with all grace and purity crushes me. The weight of
endless longing to enter Heaven with the whole universe to sing a
hymn of praise to Jesus, an eternal hymn, crushes me.
my Jesus, what is awaiting me! I hear in the distance the storm that
spreads wide and another approaching. Its anger comes to hurt my
heart. Let it, let it bleed. Take account, Jesus, take account of
the blood that gushes from it, it is blood shed for love, it is
blood that runs in search of souls. I want to save them all, all.
proof, hard proof, but loved proof: I see Jesus in this proof, in
this proof I see the salvation of souls. Oh, I want to see those who
are so close to me, who are dearest to me and yet I'm so afraid of
them! I'm alone; I live alone.
Jesus, when will You give me my dear spiritual Father? When will You
fulfil your divine promise? I live with hope and trust in You. I
trust in Your love and Your infinite mercy.
Thursday, sad Thursday. I walk from one death to another. What fear,
already night. My soul, terrified, fled to a wilderness, it wanted
to be alone; it is embarrassed, fleeing to solitude only to cry
tears of greater agony there. Oh, how much suffering it sees for
itself and for the body! It sees everything, nothing is hidden from
devil plans his assaults like a thief, tormenting me mercilessly. I
cannot think of the things he says to me, so ugly, so criminal; they
are things against me, against people I hold in the highest esteem,
and against Jesus, which is what most distresses me. He blatantly
states that I offend God and at that point it seems to me that he is
telling the truth. He calls all the demons to come to sin with me
and they come with all their hellish trickery. What sad and painful
travail! It seems to me that I arrive at the gates of eternity.
not know why the heart does not open the chest because it hits it
with so much force. When it seems me that I will I die, then I call
more easily for Jesus and my Heavenly Mother, if not with my lips,
with my heart and my mind. But it's at the end of the fight, at the
end of danger, because before that the evil one seldom leaves me.
Who can save me? What help can I expect if not from Heaven? Poor me.
don’t Fridays disappear from the world? Oh my God, I run to death
and death runs to me! What distressing pain! My head is torn. My
body is just blood and a living wound with mistreatment.
is the grief and pain of my soul that I feel and, it seems me, to
see in it the desperation of a creature. By grace and great mercy of
the Lord I'm not desperate, I feel the effect of despair, but I am
calm and serene, thirsty for more pain, thirsty for more
purification and more love.
with this will the world be saved, only with these strong chains
will I be able to hold it.
Blood flows, life is escaping; it flees to give life, it is going
crazy to save the world.
Jesus, give me the pain that I love so much, give me the
purification I so much desire. Keep me in Your heart, and in the
heart of your, and my, dear Heavenly Mother. Hear my soul crying in
continual agony with the pain it feels and with longing to deliver
the world to Thee. I wanted to see the world in my hands, to give
unto You as the priest sees the Sacred Host in his hands and offers
it to the Eternal Father.
Jesus, look at me, look at my agonizing cravings to love You, and
humanity, and immolate me as you please. I wanted to tell You so
many things, but as I know nothing, I can say nothing.
the midst of these anxieties Jesus came:
daughter, Earth Angel, sweet flower,
white flower of Paradise: come, my daughter, to receive further
proof of my espousal with you, my marital union.
this moment Jesus took my hand, kissed me and caressed me and hugged
me gently to Him. It was as if I was swimming in a sea of
in a sea of
– Receive the effusion of my divine love, embrace it because it's
your life and you are the life of souls.
Courage my daughter, just a little while longer, your heaven is at
hand, it is very near now. Soon your soul, detached from the earth,
will fly to heaven as the pure, white dove flies to its nest. Your
nest is heaven before the throne of the Divine Majesty, beside my
queen of the earth Flies to her celestial spouse, she flies to be
near the King of Heaven.
is close to my side, my daughter, that you're going to continue to
watch, to rule your kingdom on earth. The heir of your crown does
not remain in it, nor the heir of your reign. To you I have given
the sovereignty of the world, from Heaven you will govern it. How
much the world owes you for what you have done for it, for I have
kept it in the very rich vault of your heart!
are a sea of pain, you are a sea of love. You are transformed into
the infinite, you have infinite power over souls. How much humanity
owes you, how much Portugal owes you!
world should be destroyed. It was to avoid greater evils that I
allowed the present evils.
ask again for much of prayer and penance. Courage, my dear gardener,
tender of the heavenly garden, divine harvester. Sow, reap for
Jesus. Sow grace, sow purity, sow love.
is the most beautiful flower. Who loves is pure, she does not offend
her beloved. Who loves suffers for love.
beloved daughter, your pain has been the salvation of souls, guide
and support of sinners.
Listen, little daughter, listen to the angels singing My praises and
a Te Deum of thanksgiving for the victim whom I chose, for
the redeemer I gave to the world.
heaven sees the glory you gave me, All heaven sees the value of your
Hear, hear the heavenly voices. This praise is to end the year. This
praise is given in your name and on behalf of those suffering with
you, who care for you and for my divine cause.
my divine thanks to all.
what I tell you on this last Friday of the year; the last time I
told you to renew your crucifixion: you were not mislead, you are
never misled. Cheer up, have the courage to fight.
Before your death all my divine promises will be fulfilled. The
husband who loves his wife does not deceive her nor allow her to be
Jesus told me to listen, I heard the heavenly voices of angels,
harmonious voices taking souls to heaven. Only a soul could hear
them, only a soul could enjoy them. Jesus told me:
is in this rapture, in an ecstasy of love that has endured pain that
you will fly to heaven.
– Thanks, Jesus; bless this poor soul who, so miserable and so
little, disappears at the sight of your greatness. Give me strength,
give me love.