BLESSED ALEXANDRINA’S WRITINGS
— 15 —
May 2, 1942 - First Saturday
"Blessed are the poor and those persecuted for the love of Jesus! They are the
elect of the Lord and the saints of His divine Heart.
The
mission of Jesus’ crucified one on the earth is almost ended. Jesus will give
her the most beautiful death, more full of love. Jesus will come, Mary will
come, Joseph will come, all the divine Trinity. The Angels will come, the Saints
will come to lead her who so much loved Jesus on earth to Paradise. Heaven will
come down to the little room of Jesus’ heroine.
What glory for Portugal, for the whole world! What joy and triumph for Paradise!
Say, say, my daughter, to your dear Father, that I love him, that he is the
favorite son of my Company. The more they make him suffer, the more my divine
love is shedding its rays on him. Jesus will lead the lost lamb to his divine
Heart, Jesus did not delay. Heaven is his, the crown is made. It is of thorns,
enhanced with the most precious stones.
Say, say, my daughter, to Dr. Azevedo that the prize which is prepared in Heaven
for him is the greatest that can be given to medicine. The Heart of Jesus shines
on him because of the great care that he has taken with the crucified one of
Jesus. He will continue to feel the protection of the savior of mankind on
earth.
Say, say, my daughter, your sister, your Sãozinha she is under the care of
Jesus, kept forever in His divine Heart. Jesus is the prize, the reward for all
who suffer along with His little Benjamin. Jesus is all for the souls that love
her and are loved by her."
Thank you, thank you, my Jesus. Reward everyone for me, pay them with your
divine Love and let me comfort them from Heaven and assist all in their needs.
Oh, Jesus, I know that You are You, I cannot separate myself from your divine
presence. I would like to go to Heaven with You now.”
"Just a little while longer and the day will come."
Thank you, my Jesus.
My God! My God! The agonizing cry of my soul is lost on the mountains and is
heard neither on earth, nor in Heaven; I repeat this many times when I feel the
birds devouring my thighs, and the agony in the soul that cannot be explained
and which increases knowing so many lies that are told about me, and feeling
that they will continue even after my death, and cause great suffering for my
relatives. It is my wish that all the lies die with me.
From 4 to May 5
During the night, my Heavenly Mother, so very beautiful, presented herself
repeatedly before me, near the head of my bed, soothing my pain.
On the same night, my Guardian Angel with his little wings leant over me trying
to relieve the pain in my body.
May 6
O
darkness, O darkness, O dark and scary darkness! O Heaven, Heaven, give me your
light!
I received such great stabs in my heart that I felt it remained open and so
disfigured that it seemed no longer to have the form of a human heart; it is
however a fountain of blood, flowing abundantly. It is the divine life that
brings it forth and I feel all humankind drinking from it with most anxiously,
for fear that it be exhausted.
My state of soul was aggravated after learning how much they hurt my dear
Father, however I did not lose my confidence that Jesus will justify his
innocence.
Now I feel that the nocturnal birds are arriving at the knees. My whole body is
almost in ashes. And will our Lord not come and find me?
May 7
With the distress of my soul I spoke like this:
How sad and very embittered are the last days of my life! Take, my Jesus, from
my bitterness all the sweetness and joy for Yourself, and for the benefit of
souls.
May 8
Being no longer able to support the weight of humiliation, with the agony and
black darkness that I felt in my soul, because everything has muffled the
confidence I have in Jesus, I said:
If those that took my dear Father away from me experienced what is to suffer,
they would return him for my comfort.
And for Jesus I whispered: I swear that I trust in You!
And remembering that I no longer had the crucifixion, I felt such pain in my
heart that it seemed to cry tears of blood and I was reminded that if I was
crucified again it would be enough to alleviate the suffering of my soul!
What a privation, my Jesus, what a privation, not now to have the crucifixion!
Now the birds are below the knees and I feel my heart losing the divine life.
I’m falling slowly. Everything disappears in me.
I also feel that humanity no longer drinks with that eagerness that it drank
before, because the blood is running out.
The devil has afflicted my imagination, wishing to force me to be united to the
things of the earth, but the more he tries to do it, the more our Lord brings me
to Himself.
May 12
Today, the divine life of my heart, I compare it to a dampened lamp that every
moment seems to be going out. Only from a remote spot springs a drop of blood,
which can barely be drunk. Today I spoke to our Lord thus:
My Jesus, Heavenly Mother, see the barrenness of my soul, see the abandonment it
feels from both Heaven and earth! Caste towards me your divine eyes of
compassion! Help me, help me, do not let me die of fright in the midst of
darkness! My soul is intimidated by the assaults of the devil. He wants to
accuse me and throw into my face all that is worst, presenting my whole life to
me as one full of mistakes.
Jesus does not leave me fighting the doubts for long, but the devil, angry,
fills me with dread. If I could have a priest always near me! It is my dear
Father that I want, because it was this that Jesus promised and that men took
from me.
The birds, I feel them already on my feet, but I feel that they are annoyed
because are not finding anything to eat. They stir about and search in the few
ashes that remain of me. Alas, the happiest day of my life is the day of my
death!
May 14 - Ascension Day
I
would like to say how much my soul has suffered, but I only have the experience;
I have no way of explaining it. Horrendous suffering began for me! I never
thought I would be able to suffer so much. Today I feel myself a little more
relieved, my trust in Jesus and in the Heavenly Mother redoubled, with more
strength to fight hell which has pitched itself against me.
My heart continues like the dampened lamp. From far away it seeps some little
drops of blood and humanity still comes to profit from them. Each of them seems
to be the last. I feel that it is still connected to the divine life by a little
thread, a thin thread that the least thing could break.
In my body I no longer feel the birds, it seems to me that not even a least bit
of ash remains.
I feel that the One who sustains the life of my heart is Jesus, only Jesus; it
seems me that my heart is linked to the heavenly Homeland by that little thread.
Jesus is my King! Viva Maria! Long live the Holy Trinity whom I love so much!
May 24
Jesus stopped my crucifixion: I feel that He stopped my life. Only He can
understand my sadness and longing. I do not have the suffering of the cross, I
do not feel myself on it, it is completely hidden from me, but I have a still
greater cross, my sufferings are greater.
I cannot live in the world. Time does not pass, the hours seem to me centuries,
the days and nights eternities. How many times I lift my eyes to Heaven to cry:
Jesus, O my dear, longed-for Jesus! Heavenly Mother, O my dear and longed-for
heavenly Mother! Most Holy Trinity, O my dear and longed-for Trinity, for whom
alone I want to live, to whom alone I deliver myself, whom alone I want to love!
Poor me! I say that I love and I have no heart to love with, I don’t have body,
except for the pain, I am like a ball of foam that quickly disappears. What
darkness, my Jesus, what dryness, what bitterness, what agonies those of my
soul!
The little thread of divine life that was connected to my heart, despite feeling
that I don’t have it, is still connected. I feel each moment that it is
breaking. The fury of the horrendous storm stretches it. From the little place
that my poor heart occupied, a few drops of blood issue, but it is a long way
away. Now I feel how much poor humanity needs it: the whole of mankind wants to
suck it up thirstily.
O my Jesus, do not abandon the poor one who has always trusted and still trusts
in you. Despite feeling that all is lost amid the darkness, it is in You that I
place all hope.
The devil broke all the chains that bound him. He has fallen on me. I fight
alone. I fight his anger.
O my Jesus, it seems to me that every moment I offend You! Oh my dear Jesus, O
my dear heavenly Mother, they took away my Dear Father in those sad days when I
most needed him!
I feel myself abandoned by everybody, unless You give comfort for my soul
miraculously – and that so seldom happens! Forgive all those who injure me,
forgive so much blindness, they are forgiven by me.
Don’t pierce my heart with more swords, I have suffered on all sides, I have
received suffering from those from whom I didn’t expect it. O my Jesus, thank
you for all your forgiveness, your love and your compassion! Purify, sanctify,
put your anguished little daughter in your divine love and carry with You
without waiting.
From May 24, the day of the divine Holy Spirit, in which I asked for all the
light and all the fire of His divine love, His sanctifying love, the state of my
soul has changed, but on that day, in the afternoon, I still said: I no longer
have the life of this earth, I only have body of pain.
Since this day, I stopped to feel what I felt almost continuously, those
disgusting serpents full of filth, which entered through the mouth and were
going out, pulled out I do not know by whom, and I remembered the condemned ones
of hell tormented by demons. I could not hear the twitter of birds at dawn and
dusk, although I remembered that they were praising their Creator. Their chirp
hurt my soul very much. I could hear nothing joyful. My thirst was
burning,
the angst of feeding myself, I do not know how to explain it this seemed to lead
me to desperation because of the impossibility of satiating my desires. Once I
said to Jesus: It is for You that I suffer, and satiate Your thirst for love,
the thirst You have for souls.
On the 25th people noticed a difference in me: there was no other
difference except a transformation in my soul. I stopped feeling the great
bitterness, dark, dryness and agony, I was no
longer far and away and passing, but felt a
great desire to fly to Heaven: I felt that I was rising, as if I had wings and
was taking flight to Heaven, having full confidence in Jesus and my Heavenly
Mother and always in accord with Their wishes. In the midst of all this, my soul
felt itself at a feast,
so that sometimes I was singing with joy and jubilation:
"To see God, to see forever,
Always God, this is Heaven!
May I go there", and so on.
It
seemed me that I was going to my heavenly homeland, to my Jesus, walking, with
open arms, to rest in His divine lap.
Since I cannot satiate myself with the wishes and longings that I have of the
earthly table, I sigh, I die and I look forward to satiate myself with those of
delicacies of heaven, and those alone are worth eternity.
The thread that connects to the place where my heart lives is about to break, I
think that it was severed. It has only been waiting for the distant storm to
give a few little tugs. Now yes, now I can say:
Heaven is near, I go to see my Jesus, I go to see my dear Heavenly Mother, I go
to enjoy Paradise, I go to love my eternal Loves forever. I leave the world
without nostalgia. I don’t belong to it.
"My head is very clear!
On May 27, when I attend to the month of my heavenly Mother, I had this feeling
that left me in peace: I died in May, peace comes in June. My dear spiritual
Father will be released and will come to watch my death. I will die on Saturday
evening, my funeral on Monday evening, the first day of Jesus. “
We do not know the source of this addition.
Probably Alexandrina
lived her second mystic death during this period. Fr Umberto.
May 31 - Feast of the most Holy Trinity
At
the end of the day, I felt the divine thread to break altogether. In that state
of soul I waited to see what Jesus in His divine wisdom had in store for me,
unless everything was over with my death.
On the following Monday, 1st June, at dawn, I felt that the little
thread that was linked to my heart had failed completely but the wisdom of Jesus
still had more to give. Shortly after I saw, and felt, rays of light brighter
than the sun coming down from heaven to earth, into my heart: they seemed to
come from the Heart of my Jesus, linking up and being reflected always in my
heart. I had to soak myself completely in those rays of love. Day by day are
continue to enter me, leaving me transformed in them. These rays are lifting me
from earth to Heaven; they are a channel in which I have to turn and move along.
It is through it that I'm going to Jesus.
I feel myself already arisen to a certain height from the earth. There are moments in which I cannot resist such a longing for Heaven. I hope to see my Jesus soon, along with my dear Heavenly Mother and the Trinity to whom I aspire. But I want all Jesus’ promises to be fulfilled; I want you to give me my Dear Father who they withdrew from me, without any reasons, during my most bitter times. It seems that only that and the determination of the consecration of the world by the Pope obliges me to remain on earth, a sad exile which I cannot support.
