How much I suffer, my Jesus! Be my strength! Only you know the
sacrifice I make to dictate what happens in my soul. This effort
seems to rip away all I have within me; to rip all souls away
from the devil. I make a sacrifice of not being able to dictate,
and in turn reveal the secrets of my soul. I much prefer to
suffer alone, in silence, hiding my grief as much as possible!
O my Jesus, how much suppressed pain, how many tears hidden!
Forgive me my fault today when I exclaimed:
O my Jesus, why donít the Fridays finish?! If only I could run
away and hide myself, so that they didnít pass near me!
Give me your goodness, Lord, your love, my Jesus!
Early in the morning, I felt my heart so mistreated! The pain,
the humiliations pressured me, I no longer had blood to give to
I felt that on the way of my Calvary, I met my heavenly Mother:
She looked at me. I looked at Her. Our hearts were united in the
same pain. Our eyes didnít linger on one another; I had to walk
ahead, abused, pushed, dragged. But the pain of our hearts
didnít separate. It was like two electric wires that connect
with one another.
Almost as soon as I came to Calvary, I was nailed to the cross.
What a time of agony! Blood flowed, every moment the wounds grew
larger. The Heavenly Mother's tears flowed in my heart. She was
a beacon for me and I was another for her, lighthouses that gave
each other light to reveal all our sufferings.
Still I did not expire, I felt that people tore my heart. This
pain was anticipated, because, after dying, I could not feel it.
When I felt the heart thus, I looked at the world and said to
It is because of you that I am so!
Then my Jesus came. I felt his entry in my heart. He sat down
and leaned towards me and told me:
- My daughter, crazy with love for souls, crazy with love for
Me: you're crazy for souls just as I am. That is why I have made
your Calvary like mine.
Your life is the life of Christ: Christ lives transformed in
You climb the Calvary, because I cannot climb it now. You take
the cross, because I cannot take it either. You're the lamb
sacrificed and immolated, you give your life in the greatest
agonies, because now I cannot suffer in such a way. It is in my
stead that you suffer, it is with Me that you bear the cross, it
is with Me that you will die on it.
For a long time, I saw Jesus with the cross on his shoulders. I
didnít feel Him, I saw Him. But I was Jesus and I was the cross.
What a great cross! And Jesus so bent beneath it; His holy face
almost reaching the ground.
- My daughter, the sins of the world require this of me, my love
for souls requires this of me. It is the crimes, it is love that
causes me to walk with my face on almost on the ground.
Suffer, my dear love, suffer as I suffer, you are a victim
chosen by Me.
My daughter, font of salvation, font for all mankind, you are
spring that doesnít dry, the water that quenches the world:
everybody can drink from you, everybody can be purified in this
My daughter, tongue of praise. Through your holy tongue the
whole earth will praise Me until the end of the world just as
now, in heaven, the angels and saints praise Me seeing your
suffering and the glory that you give Me.
My daughter, heart of loveís fire, fire which will be spread and
burn up thousands and thousands of hearts!
My daughter, body of purity, angelic purity, ever assaulted and
ever stored in the middle of the most acute and penetrating
thorns: your chaste body, adorned with all the most rich and
precious virtues, extends its lily petals with all its purity
and perfume. The lilies grow tender and lush, they open their
petals and, with the breeze that passes, spread their perfume
all about to thrive in a sweet meadow. Provide shade for the
world I have entrusted to you. Blessed are all those who are in
its shadow, who are placed in your shelter.
Are you astonished at your life, astonished at the wonders I
work in you. There is no one equal because there is no one whose
sufferings are equal to yours.
You want to come to Heaven. Courage, it will be soon! So many
will see you leaving with love and longing, and many will be
remorseful at having been the cause of your martyrdom, at having
served as a hindrance to my divine plan, for trying to hide from
the world my wonders in you!
They creep along the ground, they do not look to the heights;
they do not understand or try to understand my divine life,
though I place a guide to light their ways. They close their
eyes, leave the guides, and follow wrong paths. What pain for my
Divine Heart and what an evil for souls!
I give all the graces they need, I give all the medicine to save
them, yet everything is despised, they do not look at my pain
nor at my divine will.
- My Jesus, do not be sad, give me Your sadness, give me all the
pain of your Divine Heart! I cannot consent to your suffering. I
know the folly of your love for souls; here you have me ready to
suffer for them, to give my life for them.
Does this console you, my Jesus? Let men hurt my heart so that I
will be able to save more souls. But you must not let them
- No, no, my daughter, no, no, my dear, I cannot let this
blindness be prolonged. The light will shine, my divine cause
will triumph, resounding and brilliant. It is necessary, it is
urgent, that souls know my wonders and learn from you to love my
Divine Heart, to love all that is mine, to love pain and the
crosses that I give them.
Daughter, daughter, pain and love without equal, rest in my
heart as I rest in yours. The King rests on his throne, which is
in the palace of his Alexandrina; the queen rests on the throne
of her King, which is in the palace of her Jesus.
Jesus opened His Divine Heart to me, I went in and rested in it.
My Jesus covered me with kisses and caresses and squeezed me so
hard and with so much love I seemed to lose myself in that love,
to die in that love.
Alas, how great my fortune to die with love and within the heart
of my beloved Jesus! How will it be, the death that gives me
O my Jesus, grant that it be of love, only of love!