ó 4 ó
Mariano Pinhoís departure for Brazil
Two years ago the sponsors
of Blessed Alexandrinaís Official Website also created Fr Mariano
http://causapadrepinho.home.sapo.pt/. Alexandrinaís colloquy of
February 22, 1946, Friday, which we present this month, could appear
in either because it concerns Fr Mariano Fr Pinhoís departure for
Brazil, which happened two days before.
theatre and painting often show us dramas and tragedies, but
they treat mostly of events that were prominent. Perhaps,
however, the more authentic dramas escape historians and
artists, because they often take place in solitude, without
any external display. Blessed Alexandrinaís great
sufferings, and also those of Fr Pinho, were mostly lived
interiorly. In the case of the Beata, if she hadnít
described them, who could imagine their magnitude? In the
case of Fr Pinho, all we can do is imagine, and inevitably
That departure took
place after five years of separation and of pain, during
which time much happened. For Fr Mariano Pinho the solitude
of Macieira de Cambra was also a period of great and
productive reflection: in 1944 he published the voluminous
Regresso ao Lar (Back to the Home) and in 1948, when
he was in Brazil, The Immaculate Heart of Mary at the
Light of Fatima, much of which he had probably already
written in Portugal. During those years the Beata lived her
second mystic death (Fr Umberto), saw Dr Azevedoís arrival,
ended the reliving of the Passion with outward signs, saw
the world consecrated to the Immaculate Heart of Mary,
suffered the humiliation of being asked to hand over the
letters that her director had sent her (undoubtedly at the
instigation of those who wished her ill), was examined in
Porto about her fast, suffered the fact and consequences of
the Archdiocese of Bragaís declaration that there was
nothing of the supernatural in her experiences, Fr Umberto
arrived, the second world war finally came to endÖ and all
mixed with great pain. Fr Pinhoís departure is one of the
sufferings, and far from the least, which was waiting for
her. Against the evidence of the facts, she believed that
her director would not go into banishment, because she
thought that that was what Jesus had promised.
Fr Mariano Pinhoís tomb in the Cemetery of Balasar
Letís listen to the Beata:
"The day of the 20th can never be erased from my memory. The
departure of my dear Father for Brazil! What Jesus asked of me! I
hadnít expected so much.
The book in which Bld Alexandrina read the Te-Deum was
possibly the OfŪcio de Nossa Senhora. The Te-Deum, as
shown here, can be found on page 31. The Magnificat, that
she used often to pray, also features in it.
On the morning of
that day, after Holy Communion, I repeatedly asked Jesus
whether or not he would go, but He didnít answer me.
However, I maintained my confidence against all hope. Our
Lord sent me someone to rouse my spirits and comfort me, and
to prepare me for what was to happen. My soul was strong. I
was calm and serene. But what I suffered! Imagination cannot
grasp it, nor lips express it. What defeat in my soul!
When I went to pray,
I did not know how to offer my prayers. Should I pray that
Jesus would perform a miracle to prevent him from going? Or
to thank Him for so many graces? Or that Padre Pinho might
have a good journey?
without knowing what to do, I handed them to Jesus. And with
the strength of my confidence, though I do not know where it
came from, I said: he hasnít gone, he will not go.
Oh, how wrong I was!
The pain was
lacerating. I said: I am like St Lawrence, roasting on all
sides, but my fire is worse: it burns my spirit and tires my
It was already
evening. As the pain was unbearable, I tried to redouble my
confidence. I said ejaculations, implored the help of Heaven
and trusted only in the Lord that He would provide. I was
like Abraham with his son Isaac, with the difference that I
didnít climb the mountain, but entered at sea, to take hold
of my dear Father. Soon I knew that the steamer had already
taken him out to sea.
How much I have to
thank the Lord for helping me to accept everything with
serenity and resignation! I had prayed so much, asked in so
many prayers, sacrifices and other things, and in the end he
O holy obedience!
What will I do now?
To continue to trust
and hope in the Lord, redouble my prayers, and eyes turned
towards heaven, to wait with joy and to suffer all for love.
after Holy Communion, I said to Jesus:
I deliver myself to
You in everything and promise to do everything possible not
to concern myself further if this or that opposes your
divine will; if it is yours, I accept it.
What I want, my Jesus,
and I promise to make all the effort in this regard, is to do
everything possible with the greatest perfection and to love You
with all the love of which my heart is capable. You are the only One
in whom I can hope.
In the afternoon, I learned
the time and the details of my dear Fatherís boarding the steamer. I
wished to be strong, to hide my tears, but I did cry for a short
time. I tried to stifle the sobs; nobody heard them, but the tears
rolled down my face for some time, yet with serenity and peace.
Furthermore there was a pain that seemed to have no end. I offered
them to Jesus and for them I blessed and praised Him. And I said
that, as I had promised, if my dear Father hadnít gone to Brazil, my
lips would not pronounce a word of welcome nor of satisfaction, so I
also promised, if He helped me with His grace, not to say a word
against those who forced him to go and have made me suffer so much.
ďOn this point, my Jesus, I wish my lips to be closed, so that they
can say nothingĒ. This was my Gethsemane and it was more than a
I felt myself there in
Gethsemane and prostrated myself with the hard soil against my
chest. I watered it with many tears, but tears of resignation.
In the morning the pain was
in full swing. Without thinking of this, I had a vision of the soul.
Before me a very white hand repeatedly blessed me. I felt in my soul
a union that left it stronger. After receiving my Jesus I gave Him
but meagre thanks, because I didnít have the strength for more. I
had with me a book that I had asked for a few days before, with the
Te Deum already marked, to read in thanksgiving once I learned that
the dear Father had not left. I didnít want to decide that it was
not to be read as thanksgiving to our Lord for having consented on
the order, which was executed. It seemed to me that in this way it
would give more consolation to Jesus: to bless Him in pain as in
I trod my Calvary with tears, many tears, which in spirit I was
giving to Jesus. I felt myself falling down many times without the
strength to get up, and I felt nothing else of Jesusís torments.
While I was plunged into
pain and blindness, a blindness that has never seen or hopes to see,
my Jesus came.
- My daughter, golden heart, heart of fire, pure soul, candid soul,
soul of perfect purity, come to Me, come to My Heart to rest from so
much pain, from so much bitterness; come to seek courage, comfort
- My Jesus, my Jesus, You
know so well that I only trust in You and not in myself, and how did
You allow me to deceive myself or the demon to deceive me?
- Be quiet, calm down and
listen me. I did not deceive you, you didnít deceived yourself, the
demon didnít deceived you, because I did not allow that.
I did I did not do to humiliate you, nor to humiliate those who you
love, and I love, and who seek to do divine My will but, to render
you more firm and content, I was forced to do. I had to proceed in
this way so as not to punish with eternal punishment, as you have so
You are master of all
sciences, doctor of the divine sciences. How much the world must
learn from you!
I speak with full knowledge
and wisdom. When I spoke to you of the Homeland, I didnít deceive
you because, for those who obey, in the world have no homeland,
their only homeland is Heaven.
If you knew, my daughter,
how much it cost to my Divine Heart, mad with love for you, not to
tell you everything that was going to happen when I smiled and
delayed my answer!
I gave you the courage and
confidence throughout this time to resist, and now you are brave
enough to handle such a blow.
I didnít deceive you in not
telling that you I would not ask you for the sacrifice of the
departure of your Dear Father. I didnít ask it at the time, I came
to ask it later. And see how you gave me all?
I did not tell you that he
would not go; I promised to release him, and this was the best way
for his release.
You will see how I am going
to give him to you more than ever. He didnít go; he remained with
you. What I join men cannot separate.
That vision that you had
this morning of someone blessing you, it was him, who with his hand
blessed you all the time while the steamer was putting out to sea.
Do you see how I give him to
you and how he is united to you? I asked what I said to you about
that to be kept quiet, and do you know why? So that men would not
revolt and resist my graces, graces that to some, in this sense, I
will never give them again. They persisted, they resisted though I
did everything to dissuade them from acting so.
I do not want a new mark, a
black mark, to fall on the Jesuits, my Jesuits whom I so loved and
still love, because within it there are many who are dear to me.
Ugly mark, black mark that
will not disappear while the world is the world nor later in
eternity, and which does so much harm to souls.
Some outside the Company of
Jesus helped to create this black mark and only the Company was
tarnished. I did not want this, I did not want it, My daughter, I
did everything so that they would not resist the grace.
When Jesus said this He
- Donít cry, my Jesus, leave
the tears to me and accept them as evidence of love. Donít let me be
deceived. Forgive everyone. Be my strength.
- Go confident and joyful
expectation that My divine promises will be carried out quickly and
with great brilliance and great triumph.
Courage, courage and joy.
Courage to those who surround you and look for what is Mine. Courage
and love, courage with the certainty that Jesus donít fail, that
Jesus loves everybody madly.