SENTIMENTS OF THE SOUL
I think about war, and my trust in God.
people speak to me of the war and the danger in which Portugal
stands, I smile at it all, because in my heart my trust in Jesus
increases and I say to Him: Jesus, I trust in You! I say to whoever
asks me: it will not be so, Our Lord has infinite mercy! It is not
because we deserve more than other nations. Parents don’t have their
preferences for any particular one of their children? So it is with
Often these conversations have caused me to suffer for what I have
heard about the state of the world and for what I felt about Our
Lord’s words, when He said repeatedly: "Trust, trust, my daughter."
Often I feared I was being swayed by the demon, but that is because
I wasn’t experiencing His effects in my soul. When I heard the words
"trust, trust, my daughter," I felt great peace, and a strength
which could overcome the war.
reached my ears that the Pope had been arrested, but I was not
convinced of that, interpreting it as people's confusion. Since my
childhood I have prayed for the Pope, but for some time now I have
been praying more, feeling great compassion with his suffering. Now
when I hear this, I pray more. So great a pain and compassion for
him took possession of me that sometimes I could not resist it. I
felt a grief in my soul, as when the father of family dies leaving
all his children orphans. The days go by and in this constant
struggle I don’t get tired of giving Jesus all my sufferings and,
through them, asking for peace. I want to relieve Him and comfort
Him, to release Him from all His suffering, but I do not know how.
day, after Communion, I felt a great desire to write to His
Holiness. Unable to resist the urge, I said to my sister: I will
write to the Pope. Give me a pen and paper. And tried to do it,
asking Our Lord for light and strength and again I offered what I
was doing as a sacrifice. I wrote the following:
know that in these tragic hours that mankind is passing through the
heart that is suffering most, after Jesus, is that of Your Holiness.
Jesus suffers because He is offended, and Your Holiness suffers
seeing the world at war, in hatred, in crimes. Oh, how much also the
heart of the poorest, the most miserable and unworthy of your
daughters suffers by not freeing the Divine Heart of Jesus from the
sins of the humanity, so that it be injured no more, and by not
being able to relieve the deep pain that stabs the heart of my dear
spiritual Father and father of the world!
my dear Father, I am worth nothing, I can do nothing, I'm poor and
miserable, but Jesus can make me strong and powerful and it is with
Jesus and the Heavenly Mother that I'm next to Your Holiness so
that with my suffering I may help to bear your heavy cross.
would like to kiss the land where Your Holiness places his feet, I
would like to tread whatever path my dear Father takes as a sign of
my pain at seeing him suffering, and as a sign of my deep respect.
Courage, courage, Holy Father, Jesus will not fail you, strength
comes from on High! The war will end, peace will reign among men,
but always with pain and sacrifice. The reign of Your Holiness will
always be among thorns, but Jesus will never fail with His grace and
love so that my dear Father may rise with joy after so painful a
Calvary. He chose a loving son as the father of us all, to give us
the sanctified lights of the Holy Spirit. Because of the malice of
the men, your reign on earth will be sad, but it will be happy and
glorious in heaven, as reward after so much pain and so much love
Most Holy Father, I am a daughter of yours, sick since twenty-six
years and paralytic almost since nineteen. This letter of mine is a
heavy sacrifice because I'm lying
in bed, with my poor body pierced by the sharpest pains, but it is a
proof of love, holy love for my beloved Holy Father.
Oh, my Father, if it were possible to say how I suffer in body and
soul! How sad and painful has been my life! It is only happy with my
eyes on Jesus. Father, my Father, give me your apostolic blessing,
soften my pain, have pity on me and forgive me my insolence. I
haven’t had advice from anyone, because for two years I have had no
director. He who can, commands, and he obeys who must. A blessing, a
blessing, my Father, and forgiveness for my bad writing, but I do
not know how to write better.
will never forget your Holiness, neither on earth nor in Heaven. I
do not know to talk to my dear Father. Forgiveness, forgiveness!
am the poor
Alexandrina Maria da Costa.
After writing to him, I was more relieved, I came even to feel
content, but less durable. On the day after the letter was posted,
after Communion, the pain that I felt for His Holiness was immense
and my big concern was about military maneuvers and exercises and
despite all my confidence, what I heard caused me suffering, and I
said to our Lord without thinking, without expecting to get an
answer: "O my Jesus, release the Holy Father, give peace to the
world, give peace, my Jesus!” And our Lord answered me:
— Yes, yes, my daughter, I will give peace, I will give peace in a
few days. Trust, Jesus does not deceive you.
my Jesus, my Jesus, save Portugal from the war! We do not deserve
this, but have compassion on us! Will You save us, my Jesus, will
You save Portugal?
— Yes, my daughter, Portugal is free, it will not enter into war; do
I not have the crucified of this calvary along with my Blessed
Mother to hold the arm of the Eternal Father?
After about an hour, I heard that we were delivered to the French
and that the Pope was killed. Hearing this news, I felt so much pain
that my heart seemed splintered; I was unable to breathe, unable to
speak and unable to pray. With my eyes intent on the Heart of Jesus,
I said in my mind: “Save me, Jesus, save me! Heavenly Mother, don’t
let me waver!” I offered to Our Lord all my sufferings so that the
Holy Father would be released; I was convinced that he had not died
and that what was said of our beloved Portugal was not true.
was a day of tremendous struggle. I asked our Lord to send me
someone who could comfort me, because I would not wish to offend Him
with my pusillanimity. Hours of great agony passed. I was in a
terrible storm that destroyed everything with the utmost fury and I
didn’t have anybody to help me. I fixed on Jesus, I fixed on the
Heavenly Mother, I asked for all the aid of Heaven. Our Lord came to
console me saying:
— The Holy Father is not dead. He still lives, his mission
repeated to me several times in the depths of my heart:
— Trust, trust! Jesus does not deceive you.
the devil, not satisfied with seeing me suffering without that
suffering having any result, was angry, and often repeated to me:
— Portugal is at war, war is at Portugal!
spoke to me with such anger that I felt dread. It seemed to me that
I heard several bells ringing for the Holy Father; and any noise at
all seemed to me like artillery firing in Portugal. With all this, I
always kept myself strong in the confidence in Jesus. This was on 14
October 1943, and the 10th of that month Our Lord had told me more
or less what He repeated on the 14th. The following day,
despite people telling me that everything was untrue, I felt moments
of great fear, because I was waiting for someone who could tell me
what was really happening. The evil demon tried to take my peace and
to lose the confidence in He who cannot deceive nor be deceived! My
confessor came and tried to reassure me, and only managed to do that
in confession. I was always wanting to pray for the Holy Father,
which I did, I experienced pain but it was decreasing day by day.
December 4 - First Saturday
— Your heart, my daughter, is the royal palace of the divine
kingship, it is a throne more beautiful and charming than any I
found on earth. It is an attractive focus which draws me to sinners.
It is a kindling fire that kindles the hearts and the thirsty souls
of my love. I would like the world very quickly to know the
consolation that you give to my divine Heart and to that of my
Blessed Mother! You console Us, you give Us the greatest joys. You
love Us with the purest and most perfect love. You make reparation
for the sins of millions and millions of sinners. How lovely you are
in the eyes of the Holy Trinity! O beautiful one, o beautiful one, o
love of the divine love!
Look, my daughter, men are not quick to give the brightness that I
wish to my cause, but I'm with you. Their neglect will be punished,
the recompense will be the punishment.
Speak, my daughter, speak; my dear spouse, tell your dear Father: my
divine love for him is greater each day. I love him, love him most
truly. I give him the grace to attract souls to me, I give him the
grace to kindle them in my divine love. Tell him that it is with
pain, that it is with regret that I say: I will continue my
punishment of the Jesuits. There are so many souls among them that
displease Me, so many that are not perfect as my divine Heart wishes
and requires! They don’t have my charity, they scandalize souls. If
they took heed of my threats, if they listened to my requests, they
would not have to be punished. I protect, I protect those who are
mine. I protect those who love Me.
Speak, my daughter, tell your doctor that his fidelity to my graces,
his fidelity to my wishes is my joy; tell him to be strong in
furthering my cause. He must stand by to protect and defend you,
because in doing this he supports Me. Graces will rain, blessings
will rain on him and all his family, on those dear to his heart.
courage, my enchanting one, do not lose heart in your martyrdom, do
not become discourage on your calvary!
thus are sinners saved, it is in this way that the world receives
the graces it needs. You live in Purgatory, that is the barrier that
sets you apart. It was Me who allowed this to be so. Now you're not
in the world, you live as if you didn’t live. Your torment is
unmatched. I never gave it to any other soul.
you want to console Me, my daughter? Do you want to keep yourself in
— Everything, my Jesus, everything You want! My desire is to not to
live a moment without giving You consolation, my Jesus. To live to
console You, to live to save souls for You is my aspiration.
— Courage, then, little daughter! If you know how good it will do to
souls when they know the torment that has been given to you!
spirit is dead to the world, your life is the life of the souls in
Purgatory, but you are not suffering only for yourself.
Hurry, hurry to make known to the world how much they suffer! Hurry,
hurry to my beloved souls to free them!
Receive the love, all the love of your Jesus, the heavenly caresses.
Heavenly Mother, thank You. O Heavenly Mother, bless, kiss and pray
to Jesus for me!